Death and Taxes (and another random rant)

Isn't it fantastic that of the two inevitabilities of life, they only properly prepare you for the first one?

Almost every culture in the world has some fascination with death. Which makes sense, it is a party-stopper of note.

Not only that, but most of these cultures throw in some social programming too. Death is treated a bit like a real-estate system. Depending on how you were when you died, depends on where you end up living after you've stopped living. Humans are crazy. If you were good, hooray, you get a nice cloud, and here's your standard issue harp and standard issue wings. Make sure you pick up your standard issue halo on your way out of the office.

If you were bad, well, we'll make sure there's some space for your ass in the Lake of Fire...

Anyway, what they really need is some morality story and fairy tale about the princess who forgot to file her tax returns. I think the bible mentions it with something about giving Caesar his coins with his face on it back (why did the cunt hand it out in the first place?).

Because taxes are a way of life, and with most countries, with the high level of corruption found just about everywhere, the need to make the budget is that much more urgent. You gotta pay your taxes.

I gotta pay my taxes, and I haven't properly filed a goddamn return in about four years. This got me thinking, what's the worst that can happen? I could land up in one of the notorious tax prisons, where everyone wears a white collar. Nope, no such luck, victimless criminals live with the brutal bank robbers and murderers for some reason.

It doesn't make sense, now does it? It's not like prison officials don't know that in prison culture, you're a man if you've butchered some innocent family, but a "woman" if you got caught for fraud. You don't want to be a "woman" in a male prison. You really don't. All the vaseline in the world ain't gonna save your ass.

The reason the higher-ups can't possibily be ignorant about this is one of the favourite recycled pieces of news that magazines and papers like to cover is male rape in prison, which tends to be really high. Magazines wait five years then recycle recycle recycle.

No, prison officials and politicians don't give a crap. It's part of their neferious nature, and no amount of human interest story is gonna change that. So if you do find yourself about to be arrested for a white-collar crime, there's really only one thing you can do.

Stab someone.

I'm not normally the type to advocate violence. I abhor violence. But I also care about your ass, buddy. So that's why you gotta keep a blade with you at all times. If you're about to be arrested for some stupid crime like forgetting a monthly maintenence installment, loitering or something, go Hannibal Lecter on something. Preferably a stupid prison official or politician who's forced this situation on you. Go mental. Go large. Get creative, start a blood splatter exhibition.

You'll end up in the joint a lot longer than intended.

But at least you won't be somebody's bitch.

And hey, this is one time the expression "society made me do it" is probably true.